Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My Time in the Wasteland

Hello Again. And sorry for the wait.

It's been over a month since I last updated my blog. Figuratively speaking, I've been spending time in the "desert" and didn't feel like keeping a record of how crummy I felt.

In chapter 4 of The Dream Giver, Wilkenson talks about the wasteland as part of any dreamer's journey.

The plan was to find a job right away--temping, office work, cleaning, whatever... Nothing. Nothing happened for almost a month. Discouraged. Money began to burn a hole my pocket.

Nobody told me it'd be hard to find a job in Melbourne[mel-bern], Australia. Or that the cost of living is as expensive or even more than in the US. Australians don't always use washer and dryer together. (Being spoiled by the lifestyle in the US, I complaint about hang-drying all my clothes.) They use three hole sockets instead of two. There are often four seasons in one day in Melbourne. "Our weather is quite fickle here," a Melbournian kindly warned a tourist. No kidding. So make sure you have an umbrella and a jacket, sandles and tennis shoes, shorts, jeans, and a scarf when you go out. "Rooting for you" isn't necessary a nice thing to say. Heaps, keen, reckon, and 'good on ya' are common everyday lingo. Gotta remember that the date comes before the month. So 11/1 is Jan 11, not Nov 1. Melbourne Cup Day is "the race that stops a nation." And get this, it's a horse race that lasts the whole 10 mins! Australians are so crazy about horse racing they make a holiday out of it. And oh, the cricket. How do I even begin to describe such sport that can take up to five full days!

I thought it'd be cute listening to Australian accents everyday but soon realized that I don't like them much and miss being around Americans. There aren't too many Americans in Melbourne. I met one the first day and Alicia became my instant friend. Talking to her strangely makes me feel at home even though she's from Indiana.

There are, of course, heaps of good things happening to me, but all I focused on was the fact that I didn't have a job. Wouldn't it be nice to not struggle or doubt when your prayers aren't answered right away and nothing seems to be happening?

Every day I ask God, "Is this a waste?" I think about what I left behind in the US. "Is it a mistake for me to be in Australia?" I miss all my friends. I really miss you all. If you come across this entry, know this, you're on my heart, and I've been praying for you. "Should I abandon my dream and go back to the US now?"

"What are some good things that are happening to you?" asked Susan, my twin from the OC. (I consider her my sister from a different mother cos of the similarities of our backgrounds and the depth of our frienship in Christ.) Well, there are lots. Things like being with the disciples here and much more. I'll document them in the next entry.

But for now, I know that the wasteland isn't pleasant but necessary in order for God to prepare me for my Big Dream. I don't know what it is, only that I'm on the path to discover it.

The truth of the matter is I'm not really here for the sole purpose of traveling. I'm on a quest, a journey, more so a pilgrimage. I'm here to live and expereience and absorb the culture. It's a different way of seeing the world altogether, more raw and more real.